Denis Leary was right
Apparently even 7-Eleven no longer offers coffee flavored coffee. Instead you can now receive one of 1,300+ different hot beverage combinations. Makes you wonder if “maple nut crunch” is on the menu 
- “I’m driving around in my truck, and I see a 7-Eleven, and I think, “Of course, 7-Eleven! I can get a cup of coffee flavored coffee in 7-Eleven. What could be more than the 7-goddamn-Eleven?” I walk in there, sure enough, two big aluminum containers, like the old days, right? One’s labeled decaf, the other one has no label, what would you think? I think you would think what I thought. I pour myself a nice cup of coffee, I get up to the counter, go there to pay for it, behind the counter is another eighteen-year-old kid, okay? …
So I’m standing there with my coffee, trying to pay for my coffee, he’s looking at me… I take my coffee and leave. I get in the truck, I’m drivin’, coffee’s in the cupholder, I’m thinking about what a FUCKING retard that kid was, hopin’ my kids don’t turn out like that, all of a sudden I smell maple syrup in my truck. Did the kids spill maple syrup in here? And then I realize it’s coming from my coffee, somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee. I go BACK to the 7-goddamn-Eleven, walk in, put the cup on the counter, I go, “Yo. Yo yo yo yo yo. Come here. Come here. Somebody spilled maple syrup in my coffee.” “No, that’s the flavor of the month, man. That’s, uh, maple nut crunch.” Maple nut crunch, okay? Maple nut fucking crunch. Are you gonna tell me that Juan Valdez is down in Bogota right now fielding a field full of maple nuts, I don’t fucking think so! In fact, I’m willing to bet my left maple nut that he’s NOT! Pull up your pants. My mom used to tell me when I was growing up, “Denis, why don’t you wake up and smell the coffee.” You know what, ma? I did, it smelt like fucking waffles, okay? Why don’t you just throw all the breakfast stuff in my coffee? Yeah, put an egg in there, eggaccino. How about some Cocoa Puffs, puffaccino. God damn it.”
-Denis Leary, Lock’N'Load
I :heart: Denis Leary. I love evrything he’s ever done. The presence of his voice in “Ice Age” catapulated that movie into the stratosphere of enjoyment for me.
“Contest Searchlight” was hilarious, too.
Kill Bill comes out here in Japan this Saturday and I can’t wait to see it. I never was a big fan of Uma Thurman, but it looks like she kicks ass in this movie so I’ll just have to wait and see.
The man is amazing. I wrote about him in my blog today. I can totally see him going off on someone about his coffee. Does he still smoke like a chimney? I remember seeing his bit where he’s talking about how fucking good Nyquil was. Something like “We love you Nyquil, you giant fucking Q” then starts apologizing for being all hopped up! Ponderous talent.